Lesson #4 - "How to Save a [Teen] Life"

Before we dive into Lesson 4, how did you do on last week’s challenges?

• How does setting limits show love for my teen?
• Though my teen may complain about rules, how do they really feel?
• What are the consequences of not setting limits for my teen?

Now, onto Lesson 4! This week we will discuss depression, delinquency, and suicide prevention.

Lesson 4: “How to Save a [Teen] Life”

Depression

Have you ever put on a pair of tinted glasses and marveled at how the world seemed to change color before your eyes? Many of us probably know someone who is colorblind. A colorblind person can understand their condition, and that it means they don’t see colors in their true form, the way non-colorblind people do. They can even listen as those people describe the world in vivid colors that they will never see. Even though colorblind individuals know that they are colorblind, and understand that they aren’t seeing the world as it really is, this does not change the way the world looks to them.

Take a look at these two photos. How does each picture make you feel?

You might be surprised to learn that this is the same image with two different lenses. For those who struggle with emotional color blindness, this analogy is a striking representation of negativity and depression. A depressed person might understand that their gray-tinted glasses keep them from seeing the world as it really is. They might have learned all about thought distortions (Burns, 1999)  and how to get around them. They might have memorized The Power of Positive Thinking (Peale, 1952). And still, trying to function with such an emotional impairment is a daily battle.

So, what does this have to do with your teen? Take a look at these statistics on teen depression:

• “Approximately 20 percent of teens will experience depression before they reach adulthood.

• Between 10 to 15% of teenagers have some symptoms of depression at any one time.

•  Depression increases a teen’s risk for attempting suicide by 12 times.

• 30 percent of teens with depression also develop a substance abuse problem.

• Depressed teens usually have a smaller social circle and take advantage of fewer career and educational opportunities.

• Depressed teens are more likely to have trouble at school and in jobs, and to struggle with relationships."

(ineedalighthouse.org, n.d.) 

Your teen might not be in that 20% of adolescents who experience depression . . . but what if they are? And can you be sure they are not? The following video clip demonstrates how parents may not always know what is really going on beneath the surface of their teenager.

For teens, depression consists of a cloud of emotions and feelings raining down on them.

Parental support is crucial for teens with depressive symptoms. Don’t overlook signs of sleeping all the time or not wanting to be social as “normal” teen behavior.

This clip shows Eeyore in all his glory! Sad and depressed!

Understanding how teenagers feel can be like putting a puzzle together with your eyes closed. It can be very frustrating as a parent, and many times you feel like a failure. Good news: it’s not you. It is common knowledge that teenagers go through many physical and emotional changes during adolescence, and peers can be very influential at this time (Keijsers et al., 2012). This being said, this is the time they need parents to Connect 4 Your Teen the most!

Delinquency

Wouldn’t it be great if teens listened all the time? Without objection? It would be smooth sailing. In the last two lessons, we learned about parenting styles and gradual autonomy granting. Both of these things are important steps in preventing delinquency. Research tells us how important adequate supervision of our teens’ friends can be in preventing delinquency. When parents are aware of teens’ friends, it is a great tool to be in tune with what their teen is doing. (Keijsers et al., 2012) Teens who find themselves on the road to delinquency need their parents more than ever. Parents can help teens understand why delinquent behavior is not a favorable course to take.  It has been found that teens who spend time with delinquent friends may then be more likely to participate in delinquent activities themselves due to exposure (Keijsers et al., 2012). This is where Connect 4 Your Teen comes in. Connecting with your teen is your ticket to preventing delinquency. A study done in 2002 showed that teen perceptions of social support, parental supervision, and classroom participation reduced the incidence of delinquency in 5th and 6th grade students (Morrison, Robertson, Laurie, & Kelly, 2002).

• Consider the following suggestions for discouraging delinquency:
• Foster positive relationships through connection rituals
• Carve out family time
• Get your teen engaged with school
• Monitor activities
• Let them know they have a support system

(Office of Juvenile Delinquency, n.d.)

Suicide

 

According to research, there are specific risk and protective factors associated with suicide attempts in adolescence:

 Risk Factors (associated with INCREASED suicide attempts)

• Alcohol & substance abuse
• Physical or sexual abuse
• Poverty
• Psychological disorders
• Impulsiveness
• Social isolation
• Access to lethal means
• Sexual minority status
• Previous suicide attempts

(Fitzgerald et al., 2017)

Protective Factors (associated with DECREASED suicide attempts):

• Positive relationships with parents
• Positive relationships with teachers/coaches
• Positive relationships with adults in community
• Perceived support by adolescent

(Fitzgerald et al., 2017)

If your teen has any of the risk factors listed above, you might also watch for the common motivators of suicide:

• Feelings of alienation
• Feelings of inadequacy/failure
• Feeling psychologically overwhelmed
• Desire to leave problems behind
• Desire to be reunited with deceased loved ones

(Fitzgerald et al., 2017)

 

Clearly, the connection you have with your teen can literally save his or her life. But, trying to understand suicide can be quite challenging and emotional. There is so much information out there. Fortunately, there are experts available to help sort through the information and help you get what you need to save someone’s life. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a great website to do this:

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

For your reference, here is their hotline as well:

1-800-273-8255

In closing, take a few moments to watch this powerful music video about saving a life:

 Reflective Questions & Challenge

What can you do this week for another chip in your Connect 4 board? Consider the following ideas:

• Establish parenting techniques to guide and direct your teenager
• Educate yourself on signs of depression in teens
• Be involved with your teen
• Make your teen aware of their support system in the community

Next time on Connect 4 Your Teen: Academic achievement, appropriate development, and self-esteem.

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References

Burns, D.D. (1999). The feeling good handbook. New York, NY: Plume/Penguin Books.

FitzGerald, C.A., Fullerton, L., Green, D., Hall, M., Y Penaloza, L.J. (2017). The association between positive relationships with adults and suicide-attempt resilience in American Indian youth in New Mexico. The Journal of the National Center, 24(2), 40-53.

I Need a LightHouse. (n.d.). Teen depression. Retrieved from: https://www.ineedalighthouse.org/depression-suicide/teen-depression/

Keijsers, L., Branje, S., Hawk, S.T., Frijns, T., Koot, H.M., Lier, P.V., Schwartz, S. J., & Meeus, W. (2012) Forbidden friends as forbidden fruit: Parental supervision of friendships, contact with deviant peers, and adolescent delinquency. Child Development, 83(2) 651-666.

Morrison, G.M., Robertson, L., Laurie, B., & Kelly, J. (2002). Protective factors related to antisocial behavior trajectories. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 58, 277-290.

Peale, N.V. (1956). The power of positive thinking. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall.

Suicide Prevention Lifeline. (n.d.). Home page. Retrieved from: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

U.S. Department of Justice. Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. (n.d.). Retrieved from: https://www.ojjdp.gov/

Photo/Video References:

Carson, S. (2017). I’m fine. Teen depression PSA. [Video file]. Retrieved from: https://youtu.be/8g_kA2soWOo

Crime Prevention Security Systems. (n.d.). Teenager in handcuffs. Retrieved from: https://www.cpss.net/uploads/images/teenager-in-handcuffs.jpg

Fan Pop. (n.d.). Inside Out images. Retrieved from: http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/inside-out/images/38962699/title/inside-out-sadness-photo

Flynn, M., & Johnson, A. (Producers). (2009). How to save a life. [Video file]. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjVQ36NhbMk

Pexels. (n.d.). Free stock photo of blue sky, bright clouds. Retrieved from: https://www.pexels.com/photo/nature-sky-sunny-clouds-125457/

True Counsellor. (n.d.). Depression. Retrieved from: https://truecounsellor.com.au/StaticpageImages/depression.jpg

University of Miami Health System (n.d.). Depression and suicide stats. Retrieved from: http://psychiatry.med.miami.edu/documents/depression_suicide_stats.png

Walljasper, Y. (2014). Eeyore. Depression. [Video file]. Retrieved from: https://youtu.be/7xPnUe6Xcbw

Whatever Blog Blog Blog. (2014). Suicide prevention. Retrieved from: https://whateverblogblogblog.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/suicide-prevention-picture.jpg