Addiction, Parental Monitoring, Social Media, &
Cyberbullying
Addiction
When the authors of this blog
surveyed parents to find out what their concerns were in parenting teens,
roughly 44% responded with concerns regarding teens and technology. It is
estimated that American teens spend an average of nine hours per day on their
devices - outside of school and homework (Siegle, 2017). Technology addiction
functions similarly to drug addiction: “the constant and instant feedback
technology users receive causes the release of the brain chemical dopamine,
which makes users feel good and crave more. The quicker and more frequently
they are reinforced, the more addictive it becomes” (Siegle, 2017, pp. 234
& Greenfield, 2017). Clearly, technology addiction is a real problem! Do
you think your teen might be addicted to their device? Here are some warning
signs to look for:
· Preoccupation with
tech
· Being unable to limit
tech participation
· Loss of interest in
other (non-tech) activities
· Being untruthful about
the amount of time spent on tech
· Relationship &
school problems due to tech usage
(Siegle, 2017)
So, what can parents do? It all
comes back to Connect 4 Your Teen. Remember Lesson 3 when we talked
about gradual autonomy granting? This lesson will compliment the concept of
setting limits with your teen. Setting limits and gradual autonomy granting are
ways for parents to monitor teens and tech.
Parental Monitoring
Over the course of this blog, we
have (hopefully) been able to help you identify some important chips for your Connect
4 Your Teen board. Now is
the time to put all the chips in your board and use them! When it comes to
teens and technology, parents can’t afford to take a hands-off approach. While
technology can be a positive thing in our lives, it also “provides
opportunities for abuses such as plagiarism, cyberbullying, viewing
inappropriate content, and technology addiction. The severity and ramification
of each of these varies, but all are areas educators and parents should not
ignore and should discuss with young people” (Siegle, 2017, pp. 232).
Here are some suggestions for monitoring and setting limits
on your teen’s technology usage:
- Don’t get your teen a smartphone just because everyone else has one! Make them wait until you think they can handle it.
- Allow access to different internet sites by degrees according to their age: 12 for email, 14 for Facebook, etc. (gradual autonomy granting!)
- When you do give them a smartphone, do it with the understanding that they will hand it over to you at any time without question.
- Ask your teen to hand over their phone at random intervals to check their texts and other communications - no deleting allowed!
- Set “red light” hours when tech usage is prohibited, such as before school or during family dinner.
- Better yet, set “green light” hours when limited tech is allowed, and cap this time off at a certain number of hours per day.
- Set up computers and gaming consoles in a public place in the house.
- No devices allowed in bedrooms at any time!
- Consider having your teen do something to earn their tech time, such as reading, exercising, practicing their instrument, or going outside.
- If you monitor your teen’s tech, realize you are one of the few parents who do and you are going to take some flack for it - probably from your teen, his/her friends, and even other parents!
When parents don’t monitor their
teen’s technology usage, it can lead to trouble. Trouble can be anything from
breaking something to committing a crime. One of the less-noticeable troubles
often happens right under our noses: bullying!
Take a look at the picture below! Are you the parent that
is oblivious?
Looking at the statistics on this picture, how do you rate?
The best way to prevent tech problems is to be aware! This video is a great
introduction to how to start:
Social Media
Social media can be a positive
thing - it’s fun to connect with friends, share your day, and have a good
laugh! However, not all people are competent enough to understand how their
actions affect others, and teens are no exception. Because the teenage brain is
still developing, adolescents are still learning how to communicate and express
their feelings and emotions (raisingchildren.net, n.d.) Here, parental
monitoring comes in again. Consider only allowing your teen on the social media
platforms that you use as parents. That way you can check up on them! If you
have a partner, consider the divide-and-conquer approach to following your teen
on different sites so nothing gets missed. More importantly, set a good example
for your teen by not saying or doing anything on social media that you would
not say or do in person.
Cyberbullying
Think about the term “bully.” What
comes to mind? Take a minute to watch this clip from the movie Zootopia, which
does an excellent job demonstrating bullying:
This shows both sides of bullying,
the bully and the one who stands up to the bully. Even though the rabbit is
small, she isn’t afraid to stand up to the bully, the big fox, to help her
friends! How can parents, educators and other adults help teens learn this?
Stopbullying.gov is an excellent
website to find out how to understand and deal with bullying:
It is so easy to hide when we are
on social media, because it isn’t as confrontational as face to face.
Sometimes, using media is an easy way to vent. One of the authors of this blog
has a video to help you learn more about how detrimental venting on social
media can be, and how easily it can be turned into cyberbullying:
Research has shown that one way to combat cyberbullying is
through cooperation of schools, parents and teens working together (Beale &
Hall, 2017).
Here are seven ways that cyberbullying may occur:
1.
Flaming -
intentionally sending angry messages directed at an individual or group
2.
Harassment -
repeatedly sending flaming messages
3.
Denigration - posting
hurtful and false statements about someone to someone else
4.
Cyberstalking -
harassment that is threatening
5.
Masquerading - hiding
one’s true identity while posting hurtful comments about someone
6.
Outing and trickery -
using information about someone and announcing it publicly
7.
Exclusion -
intentionally excluding someone from an online activity
(Beale & Hall, 2017)
In conclusion, here’s a great, short clip about how much
damage can be done by a few texted words:
Reflective Questions & Challenge
What can you do this week for another chip in your Connect 4
board? Consider the following ideas:
· How much time does your
teen spend on technology outside of school and school work?
· Do you know what your
teen does while online?
· Have you talked to your
teen about being safe online?
· Does your teen know what
you expect from them while they’re online?
· Are you “friends” with
your teen online, or do you “follow” them?
· Would you be aware if
your teen had been cyberbullied, or had cyberbullied someone else?
· If there are changes to
be made, what is the best way to go about introducing these changes?
This completes the 6-part
curriculum on parenting teenagers! We hope you have enjoyed learning how to Connect
4 Your Teen, and have been able to enhance the relationship with your
teenager. Though it has been a busy few weeks for the authors, we have also
enjoyed the whirlwind of this virtual workshop! We would really appreciate you
taking the time to complete the evaluations at the end of each lesson - there are
only a few short questions which should take very little time to complete. We
understand how valuable your time is and really appreciate you spending some of
it with us. Please feel free to share this blog link with any parent who could
benefit from our presentations. And remember, Connect 4 Your Teen!
Reader
Survey:
Please take a moment to leave some feedback on this post!
References
Beale, A. V., & Hall, K. R. (2017). Cyberbullying: What
school administrators (and parents) can do. The Clearing House, 81(1), 8-12. Retrieved
from: http://www.jstor.org/stable/30189945
Cooley, C.H. (1902). Human nature and the social order.
New York, NY: Scribner’s.
Erickson, L. B., Wisniewski, P., Xu, H., Carroll, J. M.,
Rosson, M., B., Perkins, D., F. (2016). The boundaries between: Parental
involvement in a teen’s online world. Journal of the Association for
Information Science and Technology, 67(6), 1384–1403. doi:10.1002/asi.23450
Greenfield, D. (2017, February). Substance abuse and
addiction. Presentation at the Critical Connections: Fostering Cross-Functional
Conversations on Student Mental Health Conference, Hartford, CT.
Raising Children. (n.d.). Brain development: Teenagers.
Retrieved from: http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/brain_development_teenagers.html
Sartaj, B. & Aslam, N. (2010). Role of authoritative and authoritarian parenting in home, health, and emotional adjustment. Journal of Behavioural Sciences, 20, 47-66.
Siegle, D. (2017). The Dark Side of Using Technology. Gifted
Child Today, 40(4), 232-235.
Stop Bullying. (n.d.). Retrieved from: https://www.stopbullying.gov/
Photo/Video References
Citynews Today. (2016). Tech-children. Retrieved from: https://citytoday.news/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/tech-children.jpg
Common sense media. (2013). Cyberbullying Prevention Tips for Kids. [Video file]. Retrieved from: https://youtu.be/fjuPlNj2_xE
Gregorio, R. (2013). Cyberbullying PSA. [Video file].
Retrieved from: https://youtu.be/g7OTOZP5G9Y
Platin. (2016). Zootopia: Judy and Gideon fight. [Video
file]. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X6ksmOvZio
Lindsey, J. (2018). Lesson 6 live take 2. [Video file].
Retrieved from:https://youtu.be/Hx1Aet1MzE0
Sourcefast. (2017). Social-media websites. Retrieved from: https://www.sourcesfast.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Social-Media-Websites.png
Wordpress. (2014). Cyberbullying. Retrieved from: https://bullyinglte.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/cyberbullying.png
Wordpress. (2105). Retrieved from: https://iic2015.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/11.jpg
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